Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
