so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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