woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
