So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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