Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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