Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
