just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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