Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
