my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
