Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
