Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
