I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
