there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Randomize
