im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
