Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
my sisters under your porch take her home
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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