so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
