3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
