I'm really into asian looking animals
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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