I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
