McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
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