what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
