I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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