We're facebook friends in real life
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
