the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Randomize
