so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
