i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
