This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
