dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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