Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
