your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
