The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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