he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
She announced her abortion via fbk
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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