Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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