But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
