I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
