did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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