Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
