i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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