worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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