Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
