you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
