you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
