i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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