We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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