youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
thus making me awesome and them whores
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
