Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We have so much sex to catch up on
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
