I wish my penis had an off switch
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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