and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
