Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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