hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
