you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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