dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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